Cheetahs In My Shoes

living with the imaginary menagerie and all that it entails


Rock, Paper, Scissors

Mummy, is Egypt the luckiest country in Africa?

Now there’s an opener to a conversation – especially when it’s with a 7 year old who’s sitting in the bath with her brother.

My parents have just returned from holiday in Egypt, ‘topic’ at school this term is “Treasure” with a focus on archaeology and Tutankhamen and harvest activities have looked at those less fortunate than us.  It’s a lot to be whizzing around in your head when you’re 7.

So I try and explain that Egypt isn’t exactly ‘lucky’ and although they do have a degree of infrastructure (shit, need to explain what an infrastructure is) and beautiful things and places that the moment it’s not that great because there’s a lot of arguing going on about who’s in charge.

But they could sort it all out with Rock, Paper, Scissors

This, so it transpires is Year 3’s answer to most things.  They’re not overly sure of what the paper does to the rock, but they’re quite sure that the scissors cut the paper and therefore that will solve most political crises.

I suggest it is possibly a bit more serious than that and so the Cheetah Keeper pipes up with the useful suggestion that perhaps they could solve it all with a penalty shoot out.  Or perhaps a football match with boys vs girls.

I happen to have a reasonable knowledge of trading with Eygpt (fruits of a varied career) including being excluded from emails and being ignored in conversation because I’m female.  Cue explanation of some of the finer points of gender divisions in Egypt.  The Cheetah Keeper absorbed this information and usefully suggested that perhaps the red team should play the blue team instead and whoever wins could run the country.

Little did he know that football in Egypt makes the Manchester derby look like an incredibly sedate game of crown green bowls on a summer’s afternoon in a rural village…

Mummy, does Egypt have a priest?

A priest????????????????????

Like they have in America…

You mean a ‘president’???

Yes, a priest who’s in charge

A president.  Well, in Egypt they used to have a president but he isn’t there any more and they’re arguing about who’s going to be in charge now.  And in America, they’re going to be having an election in November to choose a new one.

The Cheetah Keeper then suggests that they could do rock, paper, scissors or have a football match instead.  His sister notes that in America football isn’t the same as our football.  I try to explain the differences between American Football (running, shoulder pads) and our football – soccer.

It’s decided that maybe a penalty shoot out would be better.  Or maybe rock, paper, scissors.

Politics made simple really.


The School Trip – Wot’s So Funee?

This week the Cheetah Keeper’s sister has been on a school trip.

I use trip in a fairly loose sense.  They visited our local church and walked there, so no coach, no-one being sick on the way, no getting stuck in traffic.  Nevertheless they regarded it as a trip – and she came back and told me that some of her beautiful things that she’d spotted for the day were the frosty grass and trees they’d seen on the walk.

We’re in the car driving to gymnastics and I’m being informed that her teachers choice of route was not the ‘normal’ one that we would have taken and it leads onto what happened once they got to church.  The conversation went kind of like this…

What did you do whilst you were there? : We got to have a drink and a biscuit and light a candle

Why did you light a candle? : Because I was sitting at the end of the row

But what did you light the candle for? : Because they’ve still got the stable there

The stable? : The stable that Jesus was born in because it’s a special month and it’ll last up until the beginning of February.

What’s the special month called? : It’s a hard word Mummy, *she thinks* – it’s e-tiffany

Oh yes, and we got to see the bird bath where people have their christenings in.
Wot So Funee?

I’m linking this up to Actually Mummy’s Wot So Funee linky this week – and just so the Cheetah Keeper isn’t neglected, I’ve been informed this evening that, when insisting that he had to put his shoes and coat on to go outside (radical parenting huh?) “you are hurting my feelings mummy”.


Playing Giraffes

As the Cheetah Keeper clambered into bed with me this morning (how do small children get so many sharp bits?) he was clearly thinking about ‘stuff’ – not just how many sleeps until Christmas but other things too.

The conversation went

Mummy, can you play giraffes


♂♂ Giraffa camelopardalis giraffa English: Fig...

Image via Wikipedia


Yes, giraffes.  Giraffes is a very hard game

Really?” *quizzical look from me*

*very serious look back*

You can only move the giraffes on the white squares – it’s very tricky

What game was the Cheetah Keeper playing with his grandfather yesterday then?  Comments please!